Stopping your addiction

When discussing addiction, the things that people talk about most often include alcohol, heroin, etc. Most people think about these traditional addictions. Other popularly known addictions are sex, gambling, work, shopping, food, etc. There are other modern addictions too. They include the internet, computer games, mobile phones, television, etc.

Addiction is another form of enslavement. There is nothing wrong in doing any of these things listed above provided you do them in moderation. According to the old saying, “too much of everything is bad”.

When does your action become an addiction? Only you can answer this question. Sometimes, people whose lives are affected by your action can answer. They include your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, your colleagues or even your neighbours. These are the people that will be picking up the emotional and financial consequences of your action.

What makes people become addicted? A person can inherit an addiction from the family. A person can also suffer addiction due to inability to cope with stress. Stress can come in various forms or shapes. It could be due to pressure from work, from family, from peers. It could be due to acute financial problem. A jilted lover could find temporary comfort in excessive drinking of alcohol. Over a period, he or she becomes totally depended on it. It becomes an addiction.

Stopping an addiction is not about making yourself feeling guilty of your addiction.  It is not about developing a negative attitude toward your addiction. It is not about trying to wage a war against your addiction. It is not even about being hostile to other addicts around you. It is not about blaming yourself or anyone else about your addictive behaviour. It is all about recognising that you have the addiction. It is about accepting that a habit has now become an addiction. It is about making a decision that you want to change the habit that has become your addiction.

Once you have acknowledged the addiction, you begin to find a reason or reasons for stopping it. This starts with a deep search for the answers to the following personal questions. What is this addiction doing in your life? What does it feel to be addicted to this thing? What effect is this addiction having in the lives the people you love? What is the meaning of your life? What would happen to you in five years time if you continue with this addiction? What would happen to the person you love in five years time if you continue with this addiction? What would my life look like in five years times if I can stop this addiction today?

Never approach addiction with a view to fighting it. You cannot win. Whatever you fight will fight you back. That is the law of nature. The more you fight your addiction, the more it will hit you back. My advice is to befriend the addiction. Treat it with care and kindness. Think of it as a human being who wants your attention. You can do this well once you have found an inner reason or reasons for stopping the addiction. Once you have found a new meaning for your life and you are unable to align it with any form of addiction, the rest is simple. You just treat the relationship between you and your addiction as two jolly fellows going on a journey. You have come to a junction. That junction is the end of the journey together as friends. You have to go your different ways.

At that junction, you have mutually agreed to part ways. You are therefore not departing from each other in acrimony. You are moving to a new direction. Your addiction is moving to a new direction. You can simply say good-bye to one another and you can even give it a good handshake. You are parting on a good note. As you have not fought any battle with it, so it cannot fight you back. If you love your enemy, your enemy cannot harm you. Love is your defence against your foes. If the addiction is your enemy and you decide to love it, it can no longer hurt you. Whatever you hate, hates you and whatever you love loves you.

As you will be going to your separate ways because you have discovered a new purpose, your life will never be the same again. Your new life will be different from the old. In this new life, addiction has no role to play. You are a new creation. You are like a newly born baby. As a newborn baby, you will need to learn new habits to replace old ones. You will need to learn new habits to help nurture you toward the new direction. You will need to learn new habits to provide yourself with nourishments for growth. You will need to learn new habits to prevent reversion to old habits. You will however be in control of the new habits. None of them will control you. You will be on the driving seat totally in charge of your life.

Stopping your addiction is not as difficult you as may think. It is about finding a reason to stop. It is about discerning a new meaning for your life. It is about thinking of how your addiction is destroying the lives of the people you love. It is about thinking in terms of what you have for live instead of thinking about what life has for you. It is about looking really deed inside of you to discover who you are and who you want to be. No one can force you to stop your addiction. Only you can do that. You have the power to do it. All you need is the reason for stopping and that reason will give you the will to stop.