How many times have you been sitting on a problem and that problem simply refuses to go away? Let me put the question in another way. How many times have you had a problem sitting on your head and you simply refuse to let go of the problem? Some people deal with their problems by making it become their companion. I used to hear of ‘Student Companion’ but not ‘Problem Companion’.
Why would anyone wish to keep a problem as a companion? Why would someone wish to live with his or her problem? Is it lack of a solution? They say there is no problem without a solution. Is it lack of courage to confront the problem? Some people think that by ignoring their problem and pretending that it does not exist, they could wish it away. They just sweep the problem under their carpet. Poor carpet, after all it cannot complain. Some people are even afraid of talking about the problem even to themselves. It is like hiding from one’s self. A good example is a debt problem. The debtor dreads each morning’s posts. Every knock on the door brings panic. They hardly open their doors for fear of bailiffs. They would simply allow their mails to pile up without opening them. They do not seem to realise potential opportunities they stand to lose by not opening their mails. They just wished the problem could melt away. Every day takes them nearer to the D-Day when the chicken will come home to roost.
Well, may be, after a while, they could decide to change home. They could simply leave the carpet behind. After all, the problem has been resting under the carpet for a long time. The fact of the matter is that human problems have ears to hear what you are saying to yourself. They have eyes to see what you are doing to yourself. They have legs to walk and follow you around wherever you go. You cannot separate them from you. You cannot escape from your problem. They are inside you. They are your thoughts. You carry them about wherever you go. Therefore, it does not matter where you choose to hide the problem; it is ever with you until you decide to do something about it. It is part of your life until you choose to confront it head-on.
Just wait a few moments and think. I want you to think about your current problem. Think of how long it has been with you. Think of what it has done to your life. Think of what it has done to your significant half. Think of what it can still do if it continues like this. Think of what your life would be like in the next three to five years if this problem remains with you.
Now, think of it in another angle. I want you to think about this current problem. What would your life look like once the problem goes away from you? What would your life feel like? What would not having the problem mean to you, to your significant half, to your children, to your loved ones or to your parents? Just think.
Right now as you read this message, you can take the first step towards putting this long-standing problem behind you finally by doing just one simple thing. Change the way you think about the problem. If you have been describing and treating it as a big problem, today, you should begin to describe and treat it as a small problem. I want you to imaginary cut the problem to size. The size of the problem is irrelevant here. Just accept today that, yes, this problem exist at this point in your life. Tell yourself that you want to know its purpose in your life. You want to understand what it really means in your life. You do not need to be angry at the problem anymore.
Begin to develop a new relationship with this problem. I want you to keep a psychological distance from this relationship. By psychological distance, I mean you no longer see as an enemy or a friend. Just let the problem be. Just let yourself be. However, you want to be in control of your own part of the relationship. You want to define the relationship boundaries. You want both to agree what can be done what cannot. What is possible and what is not. It is like laying ground rules. You can even negotiate the roles together. You must know exactly what you can accept and what you cannot in light of your current other commitments. It is living in truth, living in reality. You cannot promise what you cannot deliver. That is either deceit or ignorance. Both have the same consequence. They break down trust in the relationship.
You must accept that you are not the first to be in this type of problem. You will certainly not be the last. Once you have agreed on the ground rules and that you will no longer run away from the relationship no matter how difficult things may become in the future, you have accepted your own responsibility. Never ever, you agree on any ground rule that you cannot obey. At the same time, never ever offer an unreasonable ground rule that could give the impression that you are an escapist. An escapist is a person that has the tendency to avoid unpleasant reality. Show that you can take responsibility for your life. Do not be afraid to talk about the problem.
Once you have reconciled inner yourself with the reality of your life and you no longer see the problem as a stigma, you are on your way to freedom. You will begin to thinking more positively. You will begin replace your self-hate with your self-love. You will begin to feel lighter in your head. Movements in every part of your body will begin to align with your thoughts. You will begin to walk in the street with your head held high. You no longer have anything to hide from anyone. You can now begin to seek professional help for your problem. You become an open-minded person who can discuss personal problems with anyone that you belief can help you out.
Your new way of thinking will result in a new way of living. You were never born to be alone. No one is ever born to be alone. Your old way of thinking made you to think that you were alone. No human being is ever alone. If God wanted us to be alone, He would have created Adam only. In His wisdom, He chose to create Even so that Adam might not be alone. Any time you are experiencing a challenge in any area of your life, remember, you are not alone. Every problem has a solution hiding around the corner. It only needs you to ask, and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open for you. This is what Jesus taught his disciples over 2000 years ago. This is what I want you to learn today.
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