Helping others is Helping yourself

Whatever you do to enhance the progress of another person, you do it to enhance your own  progress. The reverse of the action is equally true. This is another mystery of life and living.

You are the architect of our own happiness

The only person that can make you happy is......................yourself.

Love has no colour

Our core human values have no division. They have no colour. They have no status. Love, kindness and compassion have no religious denomination. Happiness, joy and peace have no colour. Forgiveness, tolerance and respect for others have no status. The more we can focus on showing love, kindness and compassion to one another, the less we will see the need for doctrinal divisions amongst the various religions. The more we can concentrate on what makes human beings happy and peaceful, the less we will notice the differences in each other’s colour or race. The more we can focus on our common humanity and sameness, the more will be our ability to be tolerant of each other, respect individual differences and forgive one another.

Perspective Taking

Whatever problem you may be going through at any point in life and space, there are three possible ways of thinking that will help you to make your own sense of that problem. This is by way of three possible self affirmative statements: (1) "I am the cause of the problem." - the self blame. (2) "Another person is the cause of the problem." - the blaming of other. 3) "The problem is part of life and living." - the objective reality.  The first lets you blame yourself for causing the problem. The second lets you blame another person for causing the problem. The third lets you see and  understand the natural flow of events leading on to the problem.  Each of these self affirmative statements can impact on your ability to find a solution to the problem. 

Better Days Imagination

Take a moment to look back in time and space and think of things you've done so far. Think of one thing you're most proud of and reflect on it.  What made it so important to you? How did you do it? How did you feel the moment you knew you've done it? What particular skill was key to the success? What could you do now with the skill? How would you feel if you could just do it? The past created the present. The present creates the future. Real success comes from using what you've got now to get what you want in the future. If you've done something before, certainly, you can do it again...... .....even better.

The Nature of Compassion

Compassion for others is the heartbeat of human evolutionary process. It is not just about willingness to freely give to others. It is about the feelings you have for their pains and sufferings. It is about the little positive difference you can make in the lives of others by just living the nature of your being. In the words of Dalai Lama, "Compassion for another person is based on the recognition that the other person, like yourself, wants to be happy and does not want to suffer."

The Power of Body Language

To know and understand people around you in more productive way, you must learn to watch the body language. It is humanity's first and most natural means of communicating with others. It came before spoken words. It is said that over 80% of what we understand about people in face to face conversation is read through movements of the body and what they wear. This inludes the use of silence.

A dream does not become a reality through magic

When you have a very severe physical pain, water comes out of your body. They call it sweat. When the pain is emotional, water comes out of your eyes. They call it tears. In the words of Jesse Jackson, "Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you change.". As the saying goes, "A dream does not become a reality through magic. It takes sweat, determination and hardwork. Real action to make a desired change in any area of life starts the moment you stop shedding tears for the past and get ready to sweat for what you want the future to be in that area. 

Nothing is permanent

Nature is a movement. It moves in time and space towards perfection. That is why everything in life, good or bad, is temporary. Nature does not permit anything to be permanent. So, each time you are faced with a setback, remember the nature of Nature -impermanence.

The Head of the family

There is a saying in Yoruba that literally means, "Any part of the body that Nature has chosen to be the Head must never be used as a footstool." This is applicable to the Head of the family. Anyone that Nature has chosen to be the Head of your household, you must never ever allow that Head to become your footstool even when changing circumstances begin to make it necessary for the Head to be acting as a footstool just to maintain peace in the home. At such difficult times in your relationship, you must resist the temptation to change this natural phenomenon. Another mystical hint for building and living in a sustainable happy and loving long term family relationship.

Lessons from our Pains

For every hurtful action people throw at us, whether physical or emotional, we receive two things: first, the pain and second, the lesson. Most often, we only receive the pain but leave the lesson. 

Criticisms

Never accept criticisms from anyone  who has never seen or said anything good about you by way of encouragement. In the words of Abraham Lincoln; "He has a right to criticise, who has a heart to help."

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

The moment you are no longer afraid of making a public fool of yourself is the moment you are one obstacle less in your readiness to step out of your comfort zone and start to make the change you truly want in your life.  

Even An Island Cannot Exist Alone.

Each time I hear someone using the simple "no-one-is-an-island" metaphor to tell a person that he or she cannot exist alone, my immediate instinct has been to add, "even an island cannot exist alone." It needs to be surrounded by water before it can call itself an island. In our journeys in life, we need each other. We all stumble. Every one of us. This is Nature's way of advising  us to "go hand in hand" supporting one another.

The Power of Silence

Your silence can be misinterpreted but can never be misquoted. Sometimes saying nothing is the best answer to sensitive questions.

Your Living Wavelength

When a bad person sends an evil message to a good person,  the  message will never arrive at its destination.  The evil message will ultimately return to its source as long as both the Sender and the Recipient are not living on the same wavelength. Another great mystery of life and living.

Life: Easy or Hard?

Happy people do not think of life as either "Easy" or "Hard." They think of life in terms of the strength of character they need to have in order to positively face each  "Opportunity" or "Challenge" that Nature decides to throw at them on a daily basis.

Soft as Water

To be as hard as a rock but as soft as water is to be  "firm on principle but flexible on method." A remarkable virtue of a great leader.

How to Move with the Cheese

Life is a battle. It is also information. Those who win the battle are neither the strongest nor the most intelligent. They are those Charles Darwin has  succinctly described as "most adaptable to change."  Adaptability that leads to positively rewarding change comes from knowing who you are. This lets you get on your bike and move with the "Cheese" instead of sitting in one place and keep asking, "Who moved my cheese?

Be Grateful for The Past That Creates The Present

To remember the past without getting trapped to it is to remain forever  grateful for the events it brought into your life, good or bad,  without which there can be no present.

Be Yourself

Wishing to be like another person is like water wishing to be like a rock. Nature has created YOU to be nothing else but YOU with all the elements to achieve your unique purpose in life.

Role Model

It should not be a heavy load to be a role model if it means living a lifestyle that mirrors your natural human nature without acting.

What's in a Name?

When anyone calls you a name that does not resonate with the nature of your being, reject it. It is not who you are. Your true name must represent your nature and what you stand for. No one can change that name without your approval.

The Healing Power of Laughing

One of the great secrets of achieving sustainable happiness and wellbeing is finding something that makes you laugh at least once everyday.

Never Put Others Down

Resist the temptation of putting others down. It is a sign of weakness. Strong people don't put anyone down. They lift them up. 

Where Do Thoughts And Consciousness Come From?

When people tell me they don't believe in miracle, I simply say  it's probably because they do not believe their own existence, a miracle in itself.  It is not my role to preach or try to convince anyone of what to believe. It comes from inner knowing. The best way I have found to appreciate my life as a miracle is in regularly going into my inner space and meditate on the following life questions:

Where do my thoughts come from?
What is consciousness and where does mine come from?

I will keep believing that my life is an awesome miracle until the universe comes up with answers to these human questions.

You are the author of your life story

Your need to work for somene else to make a living is a necessary choice which does not give anyone the permission to determine your ceiling in life. You are the author of your of your life story, no one else.  

Your Life is a Message

Every new born child is a message to the world. Nature and Nuture determine the type of message, good or bad. 

Life is about helping one another.

What's the connection between:
(1) A restaurateur
(2) A beautician
(3( A Pastor and
(4) A coach

They all work in the Helping profession.
The first helps people to eat healthily;
The second helps people to maintain good physical appearance;
The third helps people to develop spiritual power.
The fourth helps people to rediscover themselves.

In helping others, they are helping themselves.
Another great mindset for success in life.

From the Richest man in Babylon

You are rich as long as you keep working for your money. You are wealthy the moment your money starts working for you.

Discussing Problems with people

Beware of people you discuss your problems with. Some could be the problem.

Integrity

Integrity is the courage to defend what you believe in even when it makes you unpopular.

The Power of Effective Criticism and Inspiring Feedback

Let your criticisms of your staff be inspiring and your feedbacks empowering. These do not have to be patronising but they must make sense to the person(s) receiving them. This is what turns a perceived lackadaisical worker to one that goes the extra mile. Everyone is a winner.

When you seek the success of others, you secure your own success

There will be a time in your career when a strong desire for progress will tempt you to do things intended to undermine a collleage.  Anytime you do such things, you are acknowledging your denial of your authentic self. You are undermining the entire basis of your being. This is not a way to achieve sustainable personal success, happiness and inner peace. If you want success for yourself, you must first want it for others. This is another great mystery of the universe.

The Awesome People in my Life

I thank you, Lord, for all the people you have surrounded me with, at home, at work and within my church community. You have used these awesome people to bless me in so many ways. They all accept me as I am and not who they expect me to be.

Relationship Boundary

In all relationships, social, work or home, when you know and respect the personal boundary each member would not like you to cross, you have laid a foundation for living happily and peacefully in that relationship.

Lao Tzu Quote

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." ~ Lao Tzu

The Sweet Reward of Persistence

Once you are convinced that you need a 'Yes' answer from a particular person in order for you to take the next step towards achieving a desired goal, you must never accept a 'No' answer from that person. You must persist with subtlety and optimism. You must ignore any obvious or apparent snobbery and keep asking until you get what you want. Remember the persistent biblical widow and the judge who refused her plea to please, "Grant me justice against my adversary."

When your determination to achieve anything in any area of your life is greater than any obstacle put in your way, you can count on Patience and Persistence to overcome them.

Your Decision Making Process

There are some decisions in life that we must make using our heads. There are others we must make using our hearts. There are yet some we must make using both. Knowing how and when to use them in our day to day decision making process is fundamental to personal well being and happiness.

Your Life-long Teachers

The beauty of life-long learning is that you can find your teachers everywhere around you - in your home, at your work place, on the streets, and just about anywhere you go. To recognise each of your life-long teachers, you must learn to use your power of observation and active listening to notice and understand how and why the ending of one event leads to the beginning of another in an unbroken chain of life.

What do I hold in store for 2014?

At this time of the year, some people will be asking the question, What does the new year hold in store for me? Others will be asking the question, What do I hold in store for the new year. The two questions are opposite energies. They are inextricably linked together in the natural flow of things. When you make 2014 a year for thinking more about what you have in store for the year, the year will begin to unfold what it has in store for you.

Happy, Reflective and Focused 2014

MAM Coaching welcomes comments and feedback from readers and friends. That is how we can learn from each other. Life is never over until God says it is completely over. This is a year of positive changes. Be part of the change. This means we must start to think differently and  act differently. That is what the universe expects from everyone of us in 2014. Happy, reflective and focused 2014. 

Dealing With Bullying

When dealing with a bullying colleague either at work or in any relationship, always have it at the back of your mind that the bullying has absolutely nothing to do with you. Even though it is directed at you, the best way to deflect it is knowing that it has everything to do with the person bullying and that's because of his or her insecurity. This lets you develop the inner energy to rise up over and above the character of the bully. Both of you will be operating at different wavelengths, you above and the