The Mind

The Mind is the storehouse of your thoughts and ideas. It is your inner room where you hold private meetings with yourself. This is where you ask yourself some of life's most challenging questions with no one to judge you. It is where you consult yourself and find your own answers to each of your life's question. No one has the key to the room unless you voluntarily give it to them. In that room, you can make a plan and you can change the plan without having to justify your reason to anyone. In the room, you are free to have two minds on a subject, "to be or not to be." Nurturing your mind in preparation for how to respond to the ups and downs of life events as the ending of one forms the beginning of another in an endless chains is the essence of spiritual enlightenment and personal growth.

Religious Obscurantism

Muslim’ is an Arabic word. Literarily, it means one who submits to God. In Arabic, God means Allah. Islam means those who follow the doctrine of total ‘submission’ to Allah. Jesus Christ brought the doctrine of God’s “salvation” to Christians in the same way that Prophet Muhammed brought the doctrine of “submission to God” to Muslims. Not a single verse of the Holy Qur’an contradicts any verse of the Bible, In fact, they are complementary. So, where is the division between these two great religions? 

We must stop handing over our lives to religious obscurants of our time.  As long as they have our listening ears, they will only continue to combine their intellectual prowess with their spiritual poverty to mislead instead of inform, to confuse instead of educate, to obscure instead of enlighten, to instil fear instead of hope, all for their own selfish agenda.  Think for yourself. Never surrender your thinking to others.

Servant Leadership in Action

Servant leadership is about the sharing of power between servant and leader. It is a type of leadership that puts the needs of others first. It seeks to empower people to keep developing and performing at their optimum level. Servant leadership turns the traditional power structure upside down.  Instead of people working to serve the leader, the leader exists to serve the people. When leaders shift their mindset and act  as if they are servants of the people, they unlock purpose, meaning and ingenuity in those around them.  This is a mindset that helps empower people to become co-generators of ideas that turn plans into positive actions. Everyone is a winner. This is Servant Leadership in action.

Pope Francis Homily

"You can have flaws, be anxious, and ever angry, but do not forget that your life is the greatest enterprise in the world. Only you can stop it from going bust. Many appreciate you, admire you and love you. Remember that to be happy is not to have a sky without a storm, a road without accidents, work without fatigue, relationships without disappointments.To be happy is to find strength in forgiveness, hope in battles, security in the stage of fear, love in discord. It is not only to enjoy the smile, but also to reflect on the sadness.It is not only to celebrate the successes, but to learn lessons from the failures.It is not only to feel happy with the applause, but to be happy in anonymity. Being happy is not a fatality of destiny, but an achievement for those who can travel within themselves. To be happy is to stop feeling like a victim and become your destiny's author. It is to cross deserts, yet to be able to find an oasis in the depths of our soul. It is to thank God for every morning, for the miracle of life. Being happy is not beig afraid of your own feelings. It's to be able to talk about you. It is having the courage to hear a "no". It is confidence in the face of criticism, even when unjustified. It is to kiss your children, pamper your parents, to live poetic moments with friends, even when they hurt us. To be happy is to let live the creature that lives in each of us, free, joyful and simple. It is to have maturity to be able to say: "I made mistakes". It is to have the courage to say "I am sorry". It is to have the sensitivity to say, "I need you". It is to have the ability to say "I love you". May your life become a garden of opportunities for happiness ... That in spring may it be a lover of joy. In winter a lover of wisdom. And when you make a mistake, start all over again. For only then will you be in love with life. You will find that to be happy is not to have a perfect life. But use the tears to irrigate tolerance. Use your losses to train patience. Use your mistakes to sculpter serenity. Use pain to plaster pleasure. Use obstacles to open windows of intelligence. Never give up .... Never give up on people who love you. Never give up on happiness, for life is an incredible show. "
(Pope Francisco).

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an act or a process. It is therefore a skill, a learnable skill. The best way that I have found to learn the skill is knowing that  non-forgiveness is a stressor. A stressor is defined as "a chemical or biological agent that causes stress to an organism." Non-forgiveness is like a self-inflicted stressor. No one else suffers the physical and emotional pain of a stress but the non-forgiver. Lent is just about the best  time to reflect more on how we can improve our health and wellbeing through more acts of forgiveness.

Confidence Building

Lizzy is 37years old and a Service Manager in a residential care home for adults with disability. She has been married for 15 years with three children aged 11, 9 and 7. Lizzy has always enjoyed working with disabled people and has always wanted to move up the career ladder within the social care profession. She is currently going through a self confident crisis at work and has this to say:

“Since I took up the role of Service Manager seven months ago, my confidence level just went down. I was on my previous job as Team Leader for six years reporting to the Service Manager. In that capacity, I knew everyone really well and there was always a colleague to chat to. So, I was really enthusiastic when I got the senior position, but now my low confidence is holding me back, and I know I need to get over it. My new job involves direct management responsibility for 25 support workers with a requirement to deliver high quality personalised care support services to 12 disabled adults living independently in their individual flats.

On my first day in a service manager meeting, I felt really inadequate and was finding it hard to even express myself. I know there's a lot to learn about the job but my mind keeps thinking about things I might have said or done wrong. A few days ago, the area manager called me over the phone and requested an update about an on-going issue with a customer but I got the issue mixed up with another customer. I also worry about what people might be saying or thinking about me even though I know everyone is too busy and that I'm probably the last person on their mind. I also worry that people are thinking that I am not up to the job. It's strange the way I am feeling at work as I'm confident in many other aspects of my life especially at home and in social environment.”

First of all, I say well done to you Lizzy for mustering the caurage to step out of your comfort zone.

Action steps for Lizzy each time fear sets in thinking about the things she might have done wrong:

1. Stop whatever you are doing and take three deep breathes in and out.
2. Take notice of the fear building up within you and accept it.
3. Make a conscious decision not to let it determine your response
4. Take note of the fear, then say to it, 'Thanks for the input'
5. Then deliberately choose how you want to respond to it.
6. Affirm to yourself, “No one can put me down without my permision”
7. Keep repeating this mantra to yourself until you begin to notice a positive change in your confidence level
8. Cultivate the habit of asking for feedback from your line manager or colleagues so you can hear how you are really coming across.
9. Find a mentor at work that you can confide in and lean on for support, and who'll be honest with you.
10. Keep a daily log of things you are doing well and things that you need to be improving upon.
11. Become more aware that everything you do at work, right or wrong, is your teacher. 

Between Stimulus and Response

It's not what people do or say to you that matters. You have no control over them. It's how you respond. Learning to insert a space between stimulus and response is a great start to developing emotional intelligence skill. Hard as this may be, it is what you need to build happy and long-lasting relationships that can withstand the test of time, at home, work or social life.