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Wednesday 20 March 2024

Investing In Our Children

Orison Swett Marden, in his book pushing to the front said, “Give a boy purpose and determination no matter how poor his chance and you will hear from him”. What purpose are we instilling in our children? What direction are we leading them to?
We invest in the future of our children when we regularly find the time and space to spend quality time with them. What can we do with them during such time? Just stay with them and give them the chance to be with you. Listen to them with emotions. Learn from them as they learn from you. Pay attention to their needs. Get involved in what they do such as playing in-door or out-door games with them. Kids love the personal touching feeling contact they get from their parents and grandparents most especially from the dad. They see their dad as a hero, a role model.

As they are growing up, letting your children experience you from time to time in different scenarios is an invaluable investment in their future. Exposing children to various situations and experiences helps them develop essential life skills, problem-solving abilities, resilience, and empathy. It broadens their perspectives and prepares them for the challenges they may encounter as they grow older. It's like providing them with a toolkit for navigating the complexities of life.

Giving your children the opportunities to experience some of your ups and downs as they are growing up can be incredibly beneficial for their emotional development. It teaches them that it's normal to experience a range of emotions and helps them learn how to cope with them in healthy ways. Additionally, it fosters trust and openness in your relationship with them, as they see you as a real and authentic person with feelings just like theirs.

Let them see you playing your different roles in life. For example, let them see you playing your role as a father or mother, as grand parents, as a sister or brother, as an employee or an employer. Let them see you playing your role as a peacemaker. Let me them experience your role as a caring human being, as a giver, as a good neighbour, etc. Let them experience your spirituality through your active participation in your local Church. Share your views on important national and international issues such as poverty, social exclusions, etc. Also, listen to what they have to say about such issues too. As far as children are concerned, they learn more from what you do with them than from what you say to them.

The more things you do with your children, the more you are likely to develop bond that will last forever. This will be part of their childhood memory. For example when you eat with them, you help them build great table manners. When you watch TV with them, you help them with the choice of what is good and what is bad in television programming. When you read with them, you help them build their self-confidence. When you do all of this with your children, you are passing on your values to them. You are laying a great foundation for the future of your children.
Some parents bring up their children in fear. They use the fear of fear to make them comply with their instructions. This, in my humble opinion, is wrong parenting. There is no fear in love. Fear takes love away from children. It also reduces their self-confidence. Resist using ‘God’ as an instrument to instil fear in your children. Children will soon become adults when they will begin to challenge their childhood beliefs. Teach them to learn that God is love and in Him, there is no fear. If you love someone, you do not want to hurt that person. Fear cannot win love. However, love can overcome fear.

Give your children self-esteem and remind them of their innate ability to achieve anything they put their minds in life. Teach them to always aim high. Inspire them to success and become their first life coach.

The three greatest and most lasting gifts you can ever give to your children are the gift of wisdom, the gift of love and the gift of understanding. These are indeed invaluable gifts that can profoundly shape a child's life. Children learn these three great virtues mostly from their parents and through what you, as a parent or grandparents, do. Never be afraid to discipline your children when it becomes necessary but that must be part of an integrated learning process.           

As their first teacher, make it a habit to notice the learning style of your children and develop your teaching to fit the needs of each child. Understanding your child's learning style is crucial for effective teaching. Some children learn best through visual methods, others through auditory or kinesthetic means. Adapting your teaching style to match their individual preferences can greatly enhance their learning experience and academic performance

Unproductive parenting compares the ability and skills of one child with the other. Do not be the unproductive parent. Let each child grow according to his or her natural talent and ability. You are there to nurture what God has put inside of each child. You are not to add or take way anything. 

To me, I do not believe there are bad children. Give a child the right environment, the right purpose and a nurturing parent, sky is his or her limit.

Invest in the future of your children. Give each of them a great head start. You will hear from them.


Tuesday 19 March 2024

12 things you should avoid saying to your Child

1. It can't be done
2. You can't understand it
3. You are too young for this
4. You are not strong enough
5. You are not smart enough
6. You are too slow
7. This is too big for you
8. You are weak
9. Don't be like your dad/mum
10. You are lazy.
11. Don't be too ambitious.
12. You can't stop, it runs in the family

Monday 18 March 2024

The Way of the Great Master

"The Master does nothing, yet he leaves nothing undone. The ordinary man is always doing things, yet many more things are left to be done.”  This inspiring quote from the 38th verse of the Toa Teh Ching has been my lifeline during moments of despair when I become overwhelmed with thoughts of where my life is going. This has become the subject of my meditation especially during the onset of distress and before anxiety and panic set in.

The paradox of this verse illustrates the dilemma inherent in the paradigm of how people succeed in life: Through hard work. This presupposes that hard work alone is the prerequisite for achieving success. That is why we are all involved in the rat race striving for success. We do not know when to stop striving. By our continuous striving and re-striving, we let in stress, depression and dis-eases into our life.

Hard work is great for success. However, letting in the grace of the Source of creation brings real meaning to human success. Although we can control our work, we cannot control the outcome. That is in the hands of the ultimate Creator. That is His grace.  

The creative Source does nothing, yet everything He created works in perfect completeness leaving nothing undone. The universe is in complete harmony with the Creator. When we interfere with nature and suffer the consequences, we blame the Creator of the universe for causing it or for not preventing it.  

As the Creator is perfect, He completed His creative work to His perfection. He does not therefore need to interfere.

This verse has application in many areas of life. For example, when the work is complete, the worker steps aside and allows the outcome to flow in like river. It also has application for business. For example, when the boss issues an instruction to his employees, he leaves the stage and allows them to get on with the job.

When you practice the habit of allowing, you do nothing, yet you leave nothing undone. You let go of your struggle and let God take control. At the point when everything in your life seems to be at a complete standstill, I ask you to surrender all to the Great Master, the universal Power, the Source of your inexhaustible supplies, who does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone. When the Master created you, He left nothing undone. He created you to perfection leaving nothing.

This verse teaches me to become an observer of events in my life. As you step out of your door each morning, begin to notice everything and everyone you come across on your way to and from work, from shopping, from your place of worship, etc. Begin to notice what each event brings into your live or what it takes away. Always let your mind be on the positive side in all of such events. Begin to learn to see the blessing in every encounter. Even when someone steps on your toe, it is for a reason. Perhaps just to test your level of tolerance, or to learn more about forgiveness.

The greatest joy for us as humans is that we are all destined for success. We let success manifest in our lives by knowing when enough is enough in everything we do. The Master does not strive for success, He is the success. He does not strive to be great, He is the Great. Begin today to learn to become like the Master who does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone. 

Followers