Too much of everything is bad

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

By Lao-tzu

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Blaming Satan for our Misfortune

We often blame 'Satan' or our perceived 'enemies' for our misfortune. What does blaming others do for us in those moments? It blinds us from seeing the mistakes we made which may have contributed to our misfortune. Because we cannot see what we did wrong, we are unable to learn any lesson. Because we are unable to learn from our mistake, we will keep making the same mistake again and again and we ...will keep blaming 'Satan' and our 'enemies' again and again.

In such circumstance, who is our real enemy?

Before you rush to answer this question, I want you to read the following quote by Epictetus, a first century slave turned philosopher.

"It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself."

Lent starts tomorrow

Lent starts tomorrow. What could you do for the next 40 days that might make a little difference in the life of a vulnerable child? You could spiritually adopt one in your community and pray for his/her parents/carers every day for 40 days.

Temptation is an opportunist

It takes just one action and a few moments of indiscretion to destroy a reputation that took you twenty or more years of hard work and discipline to build. This reminds me of the biblical story of David and Bathsheba. The illicit relationship might also have influenced the author of the book of James which made him to think that “each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away... and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:14-15. Temptation is an opportunist. It comes at the most unexpected moments. Those are moments of personal indiscretion. When it comes, only by grace can you escape it. That is why I believe it is easier to avoid temptation than to resist it.

Do you really think you can be in another person's shoes?

To be in another person's shoes is easier said than done. I proved this statement to myself last week. I wanted to be in the shoes of a blind friend.
The task looked simple at first. It was to make two cups of tea while wearing blindfold goggles. First, I had to find my way, blindfolded, to the kitchen from the living room. In the kitchen, I managed to locate the electric kettle, filled it with water and switched it on. I then managed to find two cups, two tea bags, teaspoon, sugar and milk.
Even with the benefit of familiarity of what was where, I had to remove the goggles before I could complete the task.
I now know better that trying to be in another person's shoes is much easier said than done.

Truth can be very bitter, we hardly ever accept it

Oftentimes, truth can be very bitter. But we hardly ever accept the truth. So, whenever you see two or more members of a family coming out of a closed door meeting laughing hysterically and holding each other’s hand, don’t be fooled. One of them has succeeded in fooling the others.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God

We spend a great deal of our time on earth striving for what to eat, where to sleep, how to mate and how to defend. The irony of life is, even animals and insects do all of ‘these things’, if not better. But because Jesus most probably knew the things that make human beings different from animals and insects, He did not fail to advise us to “seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all ‘these things’ shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33. Lent is a great opportunity to reflect on ‘these things.’

Decision making

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Theodore Roosevelt

Gratitude can change your life, forever

When you keep upsetting yourself thinking and brooding over what you do not yet have, you may not be giving yourself enough time to think about what you already have let alone finding enough motivation to express gratitude for having them.  Gratitude can change your life, forever.

Making Hard Choices

Our journey in life is about making decisions and choices and acting on them. Sometimes, making a major breakthrough in life could mean making a choice we've never made before. It could mean taking a decision we’ve long thought we could never make. It could mean doing something totally new to our existing way of life without compromising our core values.  It could mean making difficult and sometimes painful decisions. It could mean not having to worry about living up to the expectation of anyone else. It could even mean resisting any attempt to defend or explain your decision to anybody. Some decisions are such that the more you try to explain to the people you consider being in the circle of your support, the more you are likely to bring pain on yourself. People often find themselves in this type of situation when they are trying to make major decision to initiate divorce proceedings.  This is when they need to go inside their inner private empty space to seek guidance and help. You can reach the space through silence. In silence, you ask yourself the following questions:

• Before this relationship started, what was I looking for in a relationship?
• Since I have been in this relationship, what have I got?
• Is there any disconnect between what I wanted and what I got?
• In the light of what I have seen and got in this relationship, what do I now want in future relationships?

You will get the answers you want to each of these questions when you listen to either your heart or your brain. In the past, you may have been listening to one more than the other. In life, you may need other people’s advice to tell you want you do not want, but no one can tell you want you want in life. It is your job. There lies the hard bit.

Accessing Your Empty Spaces

As the saying goes,"'the usefulness of a cup is the empty space inside." The benefit of a house is the space between the walls. Without the empty spaces, there is no house. To most people, this may sound too simple. But to the sages of old, it is everything. Think about it again, what would happen without the empty spaces between the Heaven and the Earth? Empty space is what you need to move in any direction you want.  It is what you need to make progress. You need it to build your new dream home. When you want to bring in any new appliance to your home or office, you first think about where you will put it. You create a new space for it. This is the same with all areas of life. Creating empty spaces in your daily schedule means more time to do things that really matter to you. By regularly reviewing every area of your life means you can identify which area is full and which area is half-empty.  The secret of life is revealed in empty spaces. The is why the sages loved to be in empty spaces. There is silence in empty spaces. There is God in empty spaces. This too is one of the many mysteries of the universe. 

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The Power of Compliments

Naturally, people tend to like those who like them. Human being generally tend to like the people from whom they receive more compliments. One of the marks of highly successful people is their ability to quickly recognise any uniquely positive attributes in other people and look for an earliest opportunity to compliment them for having those attributes. They have learnt to understand that the principal of reciprocation can work for mutual benefits.

Competition or Co-operation

The idea of describing one person as better or worse than the other arises from the duality in the nature of man. No one is better or worse than another person in doing that which each person has a natural ability to do and a passion for doing it.

What is an obstacle but a hurdle to overcome

When your reason for running a race is bigger than any hurdle put in your way, you can jump over every one of them in order to complete the race. At each hurdle, don't look back to see who is behind you. This will only slow you down. Instead, just focus on the hurdle and remind yourself of your reason for running. This will help you overcome one hurdle at a time.

Heaven or Hell

Whether you think Heaven or Hell exist or whether you think they do not exist, you are probably right. But, just pause for a moment, suppose they do exist. Just imagine that, truly, Heaven exists as an eternal destination for good people. Just assume that, as a matter of fact, Hell also exists as the eternal destination for bad people. Would the fear of going to Hell or the hope of going to Heaven make any difference in the way you live your life?