Living Like Water

To live like water is to be soft, flexible and endure any how.

Self-surrendering

It is a mark of total self-surrender when you give yourself up to the Power that made you to Be. Lao-tzu, the great Chinese sage called it "yielding and returning." To yield and return is to "surrender all" to the One that brought you from no-where to now-here and from no-thing to some- thing.

How to become a keen observer of events in your life

“How to become a keen observer of events in your life” is the topic of this week’s blog on “Messages, Stories and Quotes from Your MAM Coaching Buddy. Register free at www.mamcoaching.com/register to read it.

Creation Versus Evolution

God existed in space from no time. He has no beginning. He is the Source of all things. He created different planets for different purposes. At one point in time and space, He decided to create a new planet. The purpose of His new planet was to inhabit all living things to exhibit his power and glory. He called the new planet the Earth. From the first lower level of thinking things that he had created on Earth evolved the higher level thinking beings through billions and billions years of evolutionary process.  What is your thought?

Exercising Your Delegated Power

My appreciation of the power of Delegated Authority comes from many years as a public servant in more than one country. Whenever I had the privilege of exercising a delegated power, I remembered the Cross of Jesus, the symbol of the power of love and forgiveness; the symbol of the triumph of good over evil. This is the symbol of your authority to act for and on behalf the universal Power. This is the power that gives you the ability to look at your enemies in the face with full self-assurance and shout: "Get out of my life!"

Have a great weekend
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A reflection on today’s Gospel, Matthew 25:1-13

To be focused is to be as vigilant and watchful as the five wise maidens at the biblical wedding feast. To lose focus is to be like the other five foolish maidens who were not fully prepared to meet the bridegroom. Whatever journey you are undertaking in life, once you lose your purpose, you lose your bearing. 

Finding your WHYs to make a change

"Finding your WHYs to make a change" is MAM Coaching Buddy's Self Coaching activity for this week. Register @ www.mamcoaching.com/register and carry out your own activity.

Change: What it really mean to you?

What is change? What does change mean to you? What makes change so important in the process of living?  What was the most important change you have made in your life? What triggered the change?  Was it you that initiated the change or was it forced on you? If you initiated the change yourself, what was the motivation? If it was forced on you, what one word can you use to describe your experience of the change? Read Coaching Buddy’s random musing about CHANGE in this week’s blog at www.mamcoaching.com/register.

  

Laughter: A natural antidepresant

What makes laughter the most natural Antidepressant? Register at www.mamcoaching.com/register to find out

Gaddafi's Death: The human lessons

I do not think the death of Col Gaddafi should be a time for the Libyans to celebrate. I think it should be the time for deep reflection. This is the time to answer some soul searching national questions. How did the people allow one man and his family to control their lives for 42 years? How can they prevent other ‘Gaddafi’s from rising to power again?

I believe that some of the Libyans including foreign leaders, now celebrating his demise were probably among the people he had in his mind each time he appeared on the national television reassuring the world that ‘my people love me.’ What were his ‘people'  saying to him that gave him such confidence. They were probably saying one thing to him in his presence but saying another thing in his absence. He was listening to his elusive friends but not to his real friend, which is his inner voice. What a human failure.  

What lesson could we learn from his dishonourable and lonely exit?

As an individual, I thought about having the courage and the wisdom to step out of the dancing floor when the ovation is loudest as one great lesson? This is relevant in any sphere of life whether in business or politics. Nelson Mandela is a living example of a man with such courage and wisdom

For the leaders, both political and religious, I’ll like to share with you the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching (God) as espoused by the legendary Chinese sage, Lao-tzu, some 2500 years ago:

“Whoever relies on the Tao in governing men doesn't try to force issues or defeat enemies by force of arms.
For every force there is a counterforce.
Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.

The Master does his job and then stops.
He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao.

Because he believes in himself, he doesn't try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself, he doesn't need others' approval.
Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.”

Want to develop your conversational ability?

“.....intelligence is one of the traits which men and women admire in their own and in the opposite sex. Your conversation is one basis on which others estimate your intelligence. To have many friends you must be a good conversationalist".  Floyd L. Ruch in Psychology and Life

Do you need help on how to improve your ability to manage purpose-led conversations on a daily basis? Our 1-2-1 Focusing session is designed to help people to develop their conversational ability. We run 1-2-1 and group Focusing sessions over the phone for people who want to explore any specific challenge in any areas of their lives at much deeper level.   Email info@mamcoaching.com for details.

What makes an effective conversationalist?

One of the key characteristics of highly effective people is their ability to manage conversation. Every conversation must have a purpose, to be friendly and agreeable, to put mind off a sad event, to sample an opinion on a subject, etc.  It could be between two or more people. A conversation can take place at home, at the bus station, in the office, and just about anywhere. Conversation is not just about talking. It is about listening, noticing, observing and empathising. What do you need to become an effective conversationalist. Register at www.mamcoaching.com/register to find out.

Five Virtues of a spiritually enlightened person

It is the start of a spiritually enlightened lifestyle the moment you begin to make the decision to practice at least one of the following five virtues on a daily basis:

KINDNESS: This means showing sympathy for all lives including respect for the environments in which we live and work.

SINCERITY: This means dealing with one another honestly, relating with them simplicity, be straightforward and truthful.

TENDERNESS: This means being gentle to one another in what we say, in what we do and in treating one another with utmost respect and dignity.

EMPATHY: This means putting oneself in another person’s shoes and in understanding the needs of others at the deepest level.

RESPECTFUL: This means showing reverence to other people’s opinion even when we do not agree with their views.

From the 81st verse of the Lao-Tzu’s Tao Te Ching

“True words aren't eloquent; eloquent words aren't true.
Wise men don't need to prove their point; men who need to prove their point aren't wise."

Of Duality, Conflict and Dogma

"The mystical techniques for achieving immortality are revealed to those who have dissolved all ties to the gross worldly realm of duality, conflict and dogma. As long as your shallow worldly ambitions exist, the door will not open." Lao-tzu.

What makes you think you own your life?

Whenever I hear people say, 'it is my life', I often ask, is it true? Do you own your life?  What part did you play in bringing ‘your’ life to be? Can you tell how long you intend to live ‘your’ life for? Do you really think ‘your’ life is ‘yours’ and that you are free to do whatever you like with it?  

We often confuse life with the body that hosts it.

Life is spirit. It is not yours because it has no body. The spirit is invisible. It is untouchable.  It is intangible. The spirit is the universal force energy that gives life to living things. This means that even though you cannot see it, hold it, smell it, taste it or even feel it, yet it is an extremely powerful natural force.

You can only perceive life when you live at the highest level of consciousness. This means thinking at the deepest level. In other words, you become aware of what is inside 'you' by having regular conversations with the 'you' inside.  This is where life resides. It is inside all living things including the human body, which I have chosen to call the 'corpse.'

Have you ever thought about the other lives that have been composed from decomposed corpses? This means that you cannot control life. You cannot kill life. You cannot even harm it. Life is forever living.

Life can flow effortlessly in and out of the host object. This means that life can step out of one host object and move on to live in another host object. It has no boundary. It has no barrier. It has no obstacle to prevent it from doing its will. How can you therefore say that you own something that which you do not control?

I once heard someone saying to me that he was fed up with living and wanted to kill himself. He said he wanted to take his own life. I told him it's impossible to take something he cannot see or touch. I told him that life lives forever. I told him that all he could do was to harm his body, let out life and let in corpse. I also told him that before he could achieve that, his body must experience pain. I told him that life, which is the spirit in the body, does not experience pain or pleasure. Only the body does, through the conscious or subconscious use of the mind.
 
Learning to understand the relationship between your body (corpse), your spirit (life) and your mind (consciousness) is crucial to understanding the true meaning of life and your authentic relationship with your Source of Be-ing.

The spirit gives life to, and takes life from, the body. Do you still think you own your life?   

The Cross

Each time I reflect on the Cross, all I see is an image of a young man of 33 years of age hanging on a tree. I see a figure of an innocent man whose hands and feet are securely nailed to the tree. 

I begin to feel his pains. I see him dying slowly while gasping for breath. His mother, friends and close relatives watch helplessly in sorrow unable to do anything to safe him. Knowing he is going through the last moments of his short but purposeful life, he turns to his executors and asks for their forgiveness.  

I imagine this young man to be my son paying the ultimate price for having the audacity to challenge the status quo, for daring to say the truth even when it hurts, for having the moral courage to protect the interests of the poor and needy and for his unstoppable desire to defend the cause of the socially excluded, hard-to-reach and voiceless members of the community.

Whilst I am feeling the agony of a mortal father for losing his son, I am also feeling the pride of being the father of such as a hero. So is his immortal Father.

Lord, I thank you for paying such a high price in order for me to know the truth. Now I am free. What about you?

MAM Buddy self-coaching activity

Who do you think you are? Who do people think you really are? Do you think you are a kind person? Or do people tend to misunderstand your acts of kindness? This week’s MAM Buddy self-coaching activity helps you to identify if any of your behaviour or attitude could potentialy make others to misconstrue your genuine intention to be kind to them. To carry out this self-coaching activity, register free at www.mamcoaching.com/register. Then click on, “Yourbuddy” option. Select the Buddy group titled, “activities, tasks and ideas.” Click on the Buddy activity titled “who do you think you are.”

Your thoughts are your dreams

The contents of your dreams are determined by the contents of your thoughts. When your thoughts are in the past, you dream about the past as if it is still happening in the present.  However, when you learn to keep your thoughts in the present, you will begin to dream about your future as if it is already happening in the present.  

Stop And Smell The Roses

The following lyrics are from the album “Everything is Beautiful”, a collection of songs entitled “Peace in the Valley” by Reader’s Digest. I love the message in the song and thought I should share it with you. It is a message of finding love and peace in everything around you moment by moment. 

Hey Mister

Where you going in such a hurry

Don't you think it's time you realized?

There's a whole lot more to life than work and worry

The sweetest things in life are free

And there right before your eyes

You got to Stop and Smell the roses

You've got to count your many blessings everyday

You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road

If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Before you went to work this morning in the city

Did you spent some time with your family

Did you kiss your wife and tell her that she's pretty

Did you take your children to your breast and love them tenderly

You got to Stop and Smell the roses

You've got to count your many blessings everyday

You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road

If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Did you ever take a walk through the forest?

Stop and dream a while among the trees

Well you can look up through the leaves right straight to heaven

You can almost hear the voice of God

In each any every breeze

You got to Stop and Smell the Roses

You've got to count your many blessings everyday

You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road

If you don't Stop and Smell the Roses along the way

You got to Stop and Smell the roses

You've got to count your many blessings everyday

You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road

If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Living Your Life In The Moment

“This moment contains all moments.” C. S. Lewis

I can think of three types of thinkers.  There are those who think in the past.  Others think in the present.  There are those who think in the future. A past thinker lives his or her entire life in the past.  A present thinker lives life in the present moment and now. A future-thinker lives life in the future.

In his book titled Excuses Begone, Dr Wayne Dyer advises us to "stay present: every second, every minute, and every hour. Every day of your life is full of present moments of infinite value. You won't find God yesterday or tomorrow - your Source is always here and now."

To be living a life in the past is an illusion. To be living a life in the future is fantasy. To be living a life in the present is to be living in the presence of the living God.  He created you to live in his present. Your life is therefore for living in the present.

To keep thinking in the past is to keep reminding yourself of the things that had gone badly wrong in your life, the things you no longer want in your life. To keep thinking in the future is to keep building your castle in the air. The more time you spend thinking about your life in the past and in the future, the less time you will have to think about your life in the present moment.

What you are now is a creation of what you were in the past and will create what you will be in the future. The now is when you can do what you could not do in the past. What you do now also determines what your life will be in the future.  That is why they say you can create your future today.

When you keep thinking about the past and the future in the present moment, you miss the opportunity of aligning your thoughts and action with your Source who lives in the present and in the past or in the future.

When you become a friend of the moment, and just keep taking things as they come into your life without being hostile to them, you are making the most of what life has for you. You are avoiding spending your valuable time wrestling with the past and fantasising about the future.

You can show appreciation and gratitude for the present by noticing what is happening now in all areas of your life; your health, your children, your spouse, your job, your finance, your home, your environment, your education, etc. and find a reason to thank God for everything. The present is a precious gift, why throwing it away for the past that is already gone or for the future that may never be.

The root cause of terrorism

The root cause of terrorism is hatred and the inability to forgive. When you replace hatred with love and forgiveness, you cut the root of terrorism. The journey can be long but achievable. It starts by including and teaching the culture of love and forgiveness to our children as part of their education.rism is hatred and the inability to forgive. When you replace hatred with love and forgiveness, you cut the root of terrorism. The journey can be long but achievable. It starts by including and teaching the culture of love and forgiveness to our children as part of their education.

Obstacles, what obstacles?

In life, there will always be obstacles in your way towards achieving your dreams: money, family, friends, health, environments, etc. Some people call them hurdles because you can fly over them. Some call them barriers because you can open them and pass through. For others, they are called difficulties because they are meant to test your physical and emotional ability to overcome them. I call them mountains because they are meant to be climbed in order to reach the top. Never give up or given in to any obstacle in your way towards achieving your dreams in life. It is a mark of your level of creativity when you can identify any obstacle that is outside your sphere of control and work your way around it.

The Earth belongs to all species

When God created the earth, he gave every species their natural environments. He provided enough space for every species to live and co-habit within their respective habitats. He endowed each habitat with enough resources to make all the various species live together with one another harmoniously within their respective natural environments.

However, mankind, the higher and supposedly the most intelligent of all the earth's species, chose to use its higher intellect as a powerful weapon to encroach on and take over the natural habitats of the other species.

Image what would have been our fate on earth if at the time of creation, God also created another planet, populated it with super beings with the highest possible intellects and gave them dominion over human beings.

By the way, what makes us think that we are alone in the universe? If, for the reason of our doubt that we are alone, we can begin to learn how to treat our planet with more respect, it will be great for the future of our children.  We need to begin to learn how to live our life on earth with more wisdom. We need to begin to learn how to treat the other species on this planet with more respect and love. The earth belongs to all species and not just for the humans..

What type of thinker are you?

I have identified three possible groups of thinkers that you can find in the environment in which you live, work or socialise:

The first group is made up of competitive thinkers. In this group, it is winner takes all. They call them win/lose thinkers. Some people call them zero sum thinkers.

The second group is made up of cooperative thinkers. In this group, everyone is a winner. They call them win/win thinkers. Some people call them positive thinkers.

The third group is made up of dysfunctional thinkers. In this group, there are no winners but only losers. They call them lose/lose thinkers.  Some people call them MAD thinkers (mutual assured destruction). Others simply call them negative thinkers.
What other groups of thinkers can you think of?

Whatever group of thinkers you happen to find yourself living, working or socialising with at any point in your life, it is a remarkable sense of your spiritual maturity to be always guided by a higher thinking consciousness that results in the consideration of the effect of your actions or inaction on others.

Have a great weekend.

Three categories of strugglers

There are three categories of strugglers that I can think of:

Those struggling to be who they want to be.
Those struggling to be who they want others to think they are.
Those struggling to be who others think they should be

What category of strugglers do you belong to?

Delayed versus Immediate Gratification

One of the fundamental differences between people that think rich and those that think poor, they say, is the idea of “delayed” versus ”immediate” gratification. Both are attitudes. One thinks of instant rewards. The other thinks of future benefits. Which one are you?

Living with Tolerance

“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.” Dalai Lama

The best action to take against any action or behaviour of an enemy is non-action. Another word for this is silence, which, as the old saying goes, is the best answer to a fool. Some people would call non-action or silence as a sign of cowardice or simply a mark of naivety. I call it a mark of personal enlightenment, a sign of measured self-awareness and an indication of self-mastery. Some people call it a mark of calculated tolerance. I call it a mark of the highest level of your spiritual maturity. It is your most powerful weapon against any enemy action or behaviour.

To be tolerant is to understand whom you were, who you are now and whom you want to be in the future.  It means you have learnt what you are today from what you were yesterday. It means you have a rich vision of what you want to be tomorrow. This position has given you the ability to manage your response to situations around you in ways that brings the best of you to the surface. Each act of tolerance you demonstrate teaches you and others something special about your true nature.

When someone intentionally does something to hurt you but you show no sign of hurtful feeling whatsoever against that person, you have successfully returned the negative effect of his or her action back to the sender. Consequently, the person brings torture upon him or herself. That is what I call self-inflicted injury.

To achieve self-mastery, you have to learn to be a keen observer of events around you from the smallest things happening within your own household to all the major events taking place around the world. Within your family setting, you can start to practice tolerance by learning to understand and accept your own contributions in any row between you and your spouse, you and your children, you and other members of your extended family including you and your in-laws. You may not be able to change their minds in any argument, but you can change your own mind. Once you are able to achieve that, you are one-step towards having a happy and peaceful relationship with them. This is what I call a win/win relationship. In a dispute situation, some of them might say it is because you have surrendered to them. I say it is because you have learned to understand yourself better and also because you have gained a better knowledge of their way of thinking.

Within your work environment, you can begin to practice non-action and become a more tolerant person when you learn to let go of your opinion of yourself, when you learn to allow others to express their opinion even when you disagree.  It is a mark of an educated mind. Even when an individual expresses an opinion that seems to undermine your own or makes you appear stupid, practice responding with silence. To an enlightened observer, your silent non-response shows whose opinion is more superior without having to defend your position.

To be tolerant is to know how to measure your response to events around you. It is to know that no one can hurt you without your permission. It is to understand self before others. It is learning to agree to disagree. It is to know that the good people in your life are God’s own unique way of apologising for the bad ones. It is knowing that being tolerant of the bad people in your life is a magnet for attracting to your life more good people. It is to know that God uses the good people to compensate you for the bad ones. It is to know that you have nothing to lose from tolerating bad people. It is to know that you have everything to gain because all the bad people in your life are your teachers.

 

When Passion leads To Success

"People who succeed tend to find goal in the distant future and then chase it through thick and thin. People who flit from one interest to another are much, much less likely to excel at any of them. School asks students to be good at a range of subjects, but life asks people to find one passion that they will follow forever."  Extracted from The Social Animal, the Hidden Sources of Love, Character and Achievement by  David Brooks.

Listening to God in Silence

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grow in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.” Mother Teresa

Where do you go to find God? How often do you go there to meet him? What is your feeling like each time you go there? Peaceful? Excited? Afraid? Relaxed?  Happy? In what kind of environment do you like to meet God?  Noisy but boisterous? Serene and meditative. What do you want to be seeing when you are listening to God? Objects of saintly nature? Plane and undiluted? Do you talk to God more than you listen to Him?

You can meet God anywhere anytime.  He is the God of the silence as well as the God of noise.  He is the God of everything that is natural. But to hear God, you need the moments of silence. You need to be in the quiet. You need the space and time. Space +Time + Quiet = God. Some people find it hard to maintain some moments of silence. God is not in a hurry. He can wait as long as it takes you to find the space and moment of silence. The art of finding the space and moment of silence is a learnable skill. With loads of distraction here and there all the time, it can be hard for most of us to hear God. It is easy to talk to Him than to listen to and actually hear him.

For me, I have learned to meet and recognise God even in everything I do. I see God in the food I eat, in the water I drink, in my children, in my wife. I see God in the television programme I watch every day, in the car I drive, in the air I breathe in and out, in the shirt I put on and in just everything that is good or bad. I see God in everything I do from the moment I wake up in the morning until the time I retire to my bed in the night.

You can start to listen to and hear what God is saying to you by learning to listen more and talking less. When you are eating, you meditate on God’s providential power for humankind and remember those who have nothing to eat. When you put on your clothes, you meditate on God’s divine protection over you and you remember those who are naked. When you are drinking water from the tap, you medicate over God’s blessings and remember those who thirst for even a drop. When you have your children around you, you do not take them for granted. You meditate over the gifts and remember those who are still asking God for the fruit of the womb. When you retire to your bed in the night, you meditate over the provision of your shelter and remember the homeless. When you open your mind’s eyes, you will see God in just anything all around you. God tried to use those objects or subjects to speak to you. He only wants you to be silence and notice. That is the only way you can hear Him.
 

The story of Life and Living

The biblical story of God started with success and ended with success. Between success and success there were stories of failures.  The story of life therefore is about our successes and also our failures.  It is about the stories of how we manage to overcome our failures and our ability and courage to pass on the lessons we learn from them to others. 

To be ahead of your colleagues

To be ahead of your colleagues is to understand what your employer expects of you on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis and to be pro-actively thinking about how to achieve the best outcomes in the most cost effective way.

What is a Relationship TRUST Fund?

What is a Relationship TRUST Fund? What are you investing in the fund? How much are you prepared to deposit into or withdraw from the fund on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis in order to achieve what you want in the relationship? For help on how to clarify what you really want to achieve in a relationship, click on www.mamcoaching.com/register  or simply e-mail your initial enquiry to info@mamcoaching.com

Beliefs and DNA

In his book titled Excuses Begone, Dr Wayne Dyer stated that a new scientific research, championed by Bruce Lipton, has confirmed that beliefs can override DNA. If only you could override just one habit with a new belief, what would be: (1) the habit and (2) the new belief?

Creative Understanding

They say we can live together is a matter of understanding. To be understood means first to understand. If you could only understand one thing about your partner, your friend, your colleague or a close member of your family, what would it be?

Social and Physical Mobility

On the need for human mobility, the 8th Self-Marketing Mix, Susan Sontag, an American feminist,  author and literary theorist  has this to say: “One set of messages of the society we live in is: Consume. Grow. Do what you want. Amuse yourselves. The very working of this economic system, which has bestowed these unprecedented liberties, most cherished in the form of physical mobility and material prosperity, depend on encouraging people to defy limits.”

MAM Coaching's 4As simple problem solving techniques

(1)  Accepting the existence of the problem without running away from it.
(2)  Allowing the problem to pass over by letting go of any unnecessary resistance.
(3)  Awareness of the cause(s) or effect(s) of the problem and of any lessons learnt from it

(4) Action planning to include a list of all the activities you will need to take to move you to the next level.

For detail of how to apply this simple technique and for more MAM Coaching problem solving techniques click www.mamcoaching.com/register

Follow your conscience, not the crowd.

Voluntarily following another person or a group implies that you trust the person or the group to know where they are going. However, if they don't, then both of you will probably be lost. Follow your conscience and not the crowd.

What are you resisting?

Imagine yourself to be water. You have no enemy. You have no friend. You welcome all and discriminate against none. As you flow and meander your way through your course, you do not need to act as if you were anything else but water to fulfil all your roles for being water. When you meet any obstacles on your path, you are ready to wait as long as it takes the obstacles to lose all their resistance. Then you flow on. This is because you know the value and power of patience.

What course is your life taking now?
What are you resisting?
What does it take to live like water?

One evil turn does not deserve another

It is not a mark of your stupidity when you decide to repay one evil treatment against you with a good one. It is a mark of the strength of your character.

Are you a coward or a valiant?

According to Julius Caesar, "Cowards die many times before their deaths.
The valiant never taste of death but once." In times of fear, what becomes of you, a coward or a valiant?

Love will overcome fear

Fear is the biggest obstacle to love. Love is the essence of life. Without love, there is no life. The difference between fear and love is like the difference between light and darkness, between good and evil. When you embrace love, you overcome fear.

Obedience out of love, not fear

“Wicked people obey out of fear; good people, out of love.”   -Aristotle

What is the reason for your fear? A clean mind has nothing to fear. Fear is the absence of truth. It is the path of darkness. It is the path of the wicked. Straight is the path of good people. There is no relativity in truth. What is evil is evil. For good people, the distinction between good and evil is clear and simple. For the wicked, it is complicated because they think truth is relative. That is why good people have nothing to fear. They obey out of love not out of fear.

There is no fear in goodness

“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.” Albert Einstein

 

We are good because there is goodness in each of us. Manifesting goodness in all our relationships closes the door of fear. The only one to fear is God. This fear is not that of hatred but of love, respect and reverence.

RIP Amy Winehouse

RIP Amy Winehouse. What a classic lesson on how not to manage fame and fortune.

Smiles are contagious. Spread them around

No one can take your smile from you without you consent. Finding something that makes you smile att the time is the greatest life-prolonging medication. That thing does not have to be big. It does not have to cost you a dime. It does not have to come from another person. It could be something you already have. It could be a friend, a member of your family, your partner, your children, the nature of your job or career, your educational achievement, the forgiving attitude you have, your faith in God, your healthy disposition, your financial stability, your diligence in whatever you do , and just about anything. There is so much to be grateful for.  The more you can find those little joyful things that keep bringing smiles to your face, the more you are attracting happy feelings into your life and in the lives of those around you. Smiles are contagious. It feels good to spread them around.
Have a great weekend
From MAM Coaching

Of Knowledge and Wisdom

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.” Sandra Carey

Thank You Year 3 Stars

No amount of money can buy 23 greetings cards purposely and beautifully designed by 7/8 year-old pupils to show their appreciation for spending quality time with them during the 3^rd year of their lifelong learning. Thank you year 3 stars!

Changing the way you think will change the action you take.

If your current need is to develop a new relationship, and you keep saying to yourself, “I’m unlikable.” To what extent do you think this ‘self-talk’ is preventing you from taking the first step towards developing a new relationship?

Are you associating with the right people?

On the wisdom of associating with the right people, Orison Swett Marden, the black American writer associated with the New Thought Movement, has the following advice for you:

“Your outlook upon life, your estimate of yourself, your estimate of your value are largely coloured by your environment. Your whole career will be modified, shaped, moulded by your surroundings, by the character of the people with whom you come in contact with every day.”

The MAM Coaching Buddy

The MAM Coaching Buddy is a virtual life-coaching assistant that empowers you to reach your full potential and live an even more fulfilling life by becoming your own life coach. For more information, please visit www.mamcoaching.com/about

Managing your Expectations

To expect something means to hope, to anticipate, to look forward to and to think that something is about to happen. Expectation is one of the fundamental attributes of humanity. When you are in a state of expectation that something will happen, only one of two can happen. Either what you expect will happen or it does not happen. What you expect will happen do not matter if it is for good or bad. In order words, there are both positive as well as negative expectations.

Human expectations have three key components: yourself, your actions and the desired outcomes.  It works as the computer system, which has three key components: the input, the processor and the output. Another metaphor that I can think of for human expectations is the farmer, the seed and the produce. In order words, you can expect to reap whatever you sow!  In computer jargon, it is garbage in, garbage out. As a leader, if you sow sincerity of purpose, you will expect to reap trustworthiness. In any relationship, if you sow love, you will expect to reap affection and total devotion.  In a home, if you sow hospitality, you will expect to reap unity. At work, if you sow respect to others, you will expect to reap the respect of others. If you sow devotion to your duty, you will expect you rewards. The opposite of all this is also true.

Another metaphor that I regularly use to explain human expectations is that they are like a TRUST fund with five valuable assets as deposits. You can deposit and withdraw any of the five valuable assets as and when you like. The five valuable assets are:

Truthfulness

Reasonableness

Understanding

Sincerity

Temperance 

The good thing about the TRUST fund is that it is totally under your control. This is because you cannot live your life to the expectation of others and you cannot control the action of others.

Being truthful to yourself and to others keeps your fund in credit. Any expectations that you may have that do not align with your core values and beliefs are a withdrawal from the fund. It has potential negative consequences.  Everything you do must have a reason. It does not matter whether that reason is good or bad. However, both have consequences, which you must be aware.

You cannot treat another person with contempt and yet have reasonable expectation that the person should respect you. That would be contrary to the law of give-and-take. Such unreasonable expectation is a withdrawal from the fund.

Failure to understand another person’s point of view before making assumptions about that person is a withdrawal from the fund. In any human relationship, for understanding to have a positive effect, it must be reciprocal. Because you understand your friend, you also expect that friend to understand you. That is asking too much of your friend.

Sincerity of purpose is another critical element in managing expectation.  Your inability to deliver what you have promised yourself or others is a withdrawal from the fund.  Your inability to exercise self-control in your day today relationships with other people is a withdrawal of fund. Conversely, each time you do the opposites of the above, you are adding assets to the fund.

I have my own expectation of life. I have my own expectation of my children. Those expectations came from my core values and beliefs. I brought up my children with those values and beliefs.  However, I do not expect my children to live to my own expectations. I want them to have their own expectations and aspire to live up to them.

If you expect too much for yourself, you stand the risk of not being able to bring the best out of whatever you do. If you expect too much of others you can expect disappointment as they may not live to your expectation. If people expect too much from you, they may also well go away disappointed as you may also not live up to their expectation.

Anyone can expect anything from you, only you know what you can expect of yourself. People can make judgement of what they think you should be, what they think you should do or have, it is only you that know who you are, what you can do, what you can be or what you can have. Striving to live up to other people’s expectations is like living other people’s live. You will be running like headless chicken and doing what other people expect you to do.

What people expect of you is irrelevant. What matters is what you expect of yourself.
People can expect anything from you. They have the right to think they do. However, they have no right to make you live your life to their own expectation. It is a winless war living to other people expectation. The more you strive to do that the more the shift in what they expect of you. Even when you cut off your head in order to fit the life they expect you to live, they will tell you that you should cut it closer to your neck.

Mapping Your Goals

A goal, according to the dictionary, is the aim or object towards which we direct an endeavour. A recent survey suggested that most successful people are goal orientated. They take time to name what it is they want. They build a rich picture of what achieving the goals will like and feel like. Without goal, life would be like a ship without a compass.

 A goal is a destination or a territory. Some people call it a target or an aim. The key element of a goal is that it must be personal. It mist be precise and it must have a terminal point. You cannot set a goal for another person. That would be a futile exercise.

A goal is the end of a journey. That end must be clear in the mind of the goal setter. If you do not know where you are going, how would you know when you get there? For example if you want to travel to a city, which you have never visited before, you will sit down and make a plan of how you intend to get there. You first name the city. Then find the location on a map. The location is the territory. The map is the route you take to get there. That is why they call it mapping.

If the mapping of your destination is wrong, it does not matter how efficient you are in all the other aspects of your preparations, you will only get to the wrong destination very efficiently.

Goal setting is the same. If you do not set a goal, how will you know when you have achieved it? If you want something from someone, and you cannot tell that person what it is you want, how could the person possibly help you? The clearer you are able to explain to that person what exactly you want, the more your chance of getting some help from that person. Clarity of purpose is the key.

A recent survey suggested that only 3% of the population set goals. In order words, a whopping 97% do not consider goal setting important in their lives. This is tantamount to gambling with ones precious life. Why do people fail to set goals? Why are some people afraid of setting goals?

To learn more about goal, goal-setting, the benefits of setting goals and the reasons some people are afraid of setting goals, register at www.mamcoaching.com. Registration is free, takes less than 30 seconds and you will get 30-day free access to all our online personal development resources.

  

Life is all about loving one another

"The religion of love transcends all other religions; for lovers, the only religion and belief is God." Jalal ad-Rumi

What is it to be open-minded?

To be open-minded is to seek to know and understand life in all its ramifications. It means you can open your heart to the world around you without opening your door. It means you can see the real meaning of life without looking out of your window.

The journey of life

In the journey of life, you will come across many obstacles; your attitude will determine how many of them you will overcome. It is also your attitude that will determine how many of the obstacles will overcome you.

Problem, what problem?, It is an opportunity

Whilst many of us are busy thinking about and analysing the ongoing tsunami that is engulfing the British media industry, strategic business minds the like of Rupert Murdock are focusing on any potential new business opportunities when the storms are over. When many of us see the problems, they see the opportunities. What opportunity can you see from your current tsunami?

The people coaching can/cannot help

1          Cannot help:

·         Those who are already satisfied with all aspects of their lives

·         Those who need no change in any aspects of their lives

·         Those who need change but can make the change happen by themselves

2          Can help:

·         Those who  need to change in any area of their lives

·         Those who are actively looking to make the change

·         Those who need help to make the change happen

If you fall in the second category, visit my website at www.mamcoaching.com and register free. It takes less than 30 seconds to register.

What Self-marketing toolkits do you have?

As a farmer needs the right equipments to be a good farmer and a surgeon needs efficient surgical instruments to perform an operation, so a professed self-marketing expert needs the right tools to be up to speed in all aspects of his or her life. What tools do you have to become the best of what life has in store for you?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? Who do people think you are? What is the difference between the two? Register now at www.mamcoaching.com to find out the key differences between (a) your desired self and (b) your realised self. You will also learn how to bridge any gap between the two. Registration is free and you can do it in less than 30 seconds.  

Your Personal Unique Selling Point (PUSP)

All successful businesses have sound marketing strategies and effective marketing plans. They understand the meaning of the 7 Ps in marketing known as the marketing mix. They understand the necessity of blending the elements of the marketing mix to achieve their marketing objectives. They are able to apply judgment in placing significance on the elements for a variety of products and services. They are conscious with their branding, known as their brand identity. These are all good for business success.

 However, I believe that what is good for business success is also good for individual personal success. How do you apply marketing model to sell your personality to your relevant public? What is your personal marketing plan? What is your personal unique selling point (PUSP)?  What is your brand identity?

To know more about personal marketing and learn how to develop your own personal brand identity, register free at www.mamcoaching.com

A Message from Tao te Ching

The Master does nothing, yet he leaves nothing undone.
The ordinary man is always doing things, yet many more are left to be done.

Supreme Excellence

“To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.”    Sun Tu (544BC – 496 BC)

A fool at 40 is a fool forever?

They say "a fool at 40 is a fool forever." Is there any absolute truth in this old saying? What do you think?

Are you fair to your life?

Whenever you find yourself thinking that life is not fair to you, always remember to ask yourself the following three life questions:

·         What do you expect from life?  

·         What does life expect of you?

·         Are you also fair to your life?

The Tale of Two Friends

I have two great friends. One thinks I am very rich. The other thinks I am very poor. Both are right. One thinks through the richness of the Spirit inside my body. The other thinks through the poverty of the body holding my Spirit. To see the true richness of your friend, you must go far beneath the physical.