Finding your WHYs to make a change

"Finding your WHYs to make a change" is MAM Coaching Buddy's Self Coaching activity for this week. Register @ www.mamcoaching.com/register and carry out your own activity.

Change: What it really mean to you?

What is change? What does change mean to you? What makes change so important in the process of living?  What was the most important change you have made in your life? What triggered the change?  Was it you that initiated the change or was it forced on you? If you initiated the change yourself, what was the motivation? If it was forced on you, what one word can you use to describe your experience of the change? Read Coaching Buddy’s random musing about CHANGE in this week’s blog at www.mamcoaching.com/register.

  

Laughter: A natural antidepresant

What makes laughter the most natural Antidepressant? Register at www.mamcoaching.com/register to find out

Gaddafi's Death: The human lessons

I do not think the death of Col Gaddafi should be a time for the Libyans to celebrate. I think it should be the time for deep reflection. This is the time to answer some soul searching national questions. How did the people allow one man and his family to control their lives for 42 years? How can they prevent other ‘Gaddafi’s from rising to power again?

I believe that some of the Libyans including foreign leaders, now celebrating his demise were probably among the people he had in his mind each time he appeared on the national television reassuring the world that ‘my people love me.’ What were his ‘people'  saying to him that gave him such confidence. They were probably saying one thing to him in his presence but saying another thing in his absence. He was listening to his elusive friends but not to his real friend, which is his inner voice. What a human failure.  

What lesson could we learn from his dishonourable and lonely exit?

As an individual, I thought about having the courage and the wisdom to step out of the dancing floor when the ovation is loudest as one great lesson? This is relevant in any sphere of life whether in business or politics. Nelson Mandela is a living example of a man with such courage and wisdom

For the leaders, both political and religious, I’ll like to share with you the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching (God) as espoused by the legendary Chinese sage, Lao-tzu, some 2500 years ago:

“Whoever relies on the Tao in governing men doesn't try to force issues or defeat enemies by force of arms.
For every force there is a counterforce.
Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself.

The Master does his job and then stops.
He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao.

Because he believes in himself, he doesn't try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself, he doesn't need others' approval.
Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.”

Want to develop your conversational ability?

“.....intelligence is one of the traits which men and women admire in their own and in the opposite sex. Your conversation is one basis on which others estimate your intelligence. To have many friends you must be a good conversationalist".  Floyd L. Ruch in Psychology and Life

Do you need help on how to improve your ability to manage purpose-led conversations on a daily basis? Our 1-2-1 Focusing session is designed to help people to develop their conversational ability. We run 1-2-1 and group Focusing sessions over the phone for people who want to explore any specific challenge in any areas of their lives at much deeper level.   Email info@mamcoaching.com for details.

What makes an effective conversationalist?

One of the key characteristics of highly effective people is their ability to manage conversation. Every conversation must have a purpose, to be friendly and agreeable, to put mind off a sad event, to sample an opinion on a subject, etc.  It could be between two or more people. A conversation can take place at home, at the bus station, in the office, and just about anywhere. Conversation is not just about talking. It is about listening, noticing, observing and empathising. What do you need to become an effective conversationalist. Register at www.mamcoaching.com/register to find out.

Five Virtues of a spiritually enlightened person

It is the start of a spiritually enlightened lifestyle the moment you begin to make the decision to practice at least one of the following five virtues on a daily basis:

KINDNESS: This means showing sympathy for all lives including respect for the environments in which we live and work.

SINCERITY: This means dealing with one another honestly, relating with them simplicity, be straightforward and truthful.

TENDERNESS: This means being gentle to one another in what we say, in what we do and in treating one another with utmost respect and dignity.

EMPATHY: This means putting oneself in another person’s shoes and in understanding the needs of others at the deepest level.

RESPECTFUL: This means showing reverence to other people’s opinion even when we do not agree with their views.

From the 81st verse of the Lao-Tzu’s Tao Te Ching

“True words aren't eloquent; eloquent words aren't true.
Wise men don't need to prove their point; men who need to prove their point aren't wise."

Of Duality, Conflict and Dogma

"The mystical techniques for achieving immortality are revealed to those who have dissolved all ties to the gross worldly realm of duality, conflict and dogma. As long as your shallow worldly ambitions exist, the door will not open." Lao-tzu.

What makes you think you own your life?

Whenever I hear people say, 'it is my life', I often ask, is it true? Do you own your life?  What part did you play in bringing ‘your’ life to be? Can you tell how long you intend to live ‘your’ life for? Do you really think ‘your’ life is ‘yours’ and that you are free to do whatever you like with it?  

We often confuse life with the body that hosts it.

Life is spirit. It is not yours because it has no body. The spirit is invisible. It is untouchable.  It is intangible. The spirit is the universal force energy that gives life to living things. This means that even though you cannot see it, hold it, smell it, taste it or even feel it, yet it is an extremely powerful natural force.

You can only perceive life when you live at the highest level of consciousness. This means thinking at the deepest level. In other words, you become aware of what is inside 'you' by having regular conversations with the 'you' inside.  This is where life resides. It is inside all living things including the human body, which I have chosen to call the 'corpse.'

Have you ever thought about the other lives that have been composed from decomposed corpses? This means that you cannot control life. You cannot kill life. You cannot even harm it. Life is forever living.

Life can flow effortlessly in and out of the host object. This means that life can step out of one host object and move on to live in another host object. It has no boundary. It has no barrier. It has no obstacle to prevent it from doing its will. How can you therefore say that you own something that which you do not control?

I once heard someone saying to me that he was fed up with living and wanted to kill himself. He said he wanted to take his own life. I told him it's impossible to take something he cannot see or touch. I told him that life lives forever. I told him that all he could do was to harm his body, let out life and let in corpse. I also told him that before he could achieve that, his body must experience pain. I told him that life, which is the spirit in the body, does not experience pain or pleasure. Only the body does, through the conscious or subconscious use of the mind.
 
Learning to understand the relationship between your body (corpse), your spirit (life) and your mind (consciousness) is crucial to understanding the true meaning of life and your authentic relationship with your Source of Be-ing.

The spirit gives life to, and takes life from, the body. Do you still think you own your life?